![]() I feel that I didn't get the full picture from your POV, because you were uncertain and kept wanting to say more, but you couldn't express yourself. But now that my brain has (partially) caught up with events, I'd like to say what's been weighing on my mind today. My heart is troubled, my mind is whirring and my sleep-deprived focus is shot to pieces. If for every tear I shed, I'd get over him faster, I'd cry so hard 'til I break my bones. Some days, it's like the world's gone out of colour. Like there's this perpetual, stormy rain cloud of sadness hovering on top of me, from morning to midnight, drenching every half-smile that I pull up, shading out every random light-hearted thought that I have. Start fresh, do it right, with what I know now. He lost a woman that has her strengths (and weaknesses, yes I know), was understanding, minimal drama, willing to compromise, communicate and deal with problems head-on.īut still, a tiny part of me wishes I could turn back time. He's the one that should be this torn up, because he's lost a lot more than me. I hate how much I let things get to me, because he's the fucking jerk in this. I can't bear it when I'm alone with my thoughts and memories. He did it so he could focus on work, so he could find someone else that was more compatible, could connect more with him, someone that he could fall in love with. It doesn't matter how hurtful, how unexpected, how clumsy his execution was. He did what he did to get what he wanted, which was to get rid of me as soon as possible. I wish I stopped thinking about him so much, because he's probably in a better place right now. All of that, just replaying in my mind in this endless loop. I keep thinking of the things we did together. I keep recalling our texts in the beginning when we were so happy with each other. Wake the fuck up.Īt the back of my mind, even when I'm doing other stuff the first thing when I wake up, I just keep thinking of what happened that night, his words. I'm in my early thirties now, and I'm still so fucking dumb. I was stupid in my teens, in my early twenties. I'm the one holding on to things when the other party was happy to let things crash and burn. I'm the one that guys leave, without a backwards glance. Throughout my life, I'm usually the one being dumped. I guess it's 'cause I haven't had to do this in the past eight years. ![]() I knew it'd hurt, I knew it'd be difficult, but I never expected it to be like this. Look at the free time that I have, but no one special anymore to spend it with. Wouldn't it be nice, if I was living in an alternate timeline where we were still together in a happy relationship, and he wasn't so busy with work all the time and could take leave to spend quality time with me and we could do all of the things that we said we wanted to do?Īnd now, these 19 days just stretch in front of me. I think the trigger, that moment that destroyed my progress and brought all of it crashing down was when I was planning my remaining 19 days of leave for the rest of the year. We also have a shop on Ebay, where you can also purchase other wall art.Each and every negative emotion that I highlighted in my previous post came roaring back like a tsunami, magnified. You can email me on: you can Text me on: 07817226841 We value your feedback very much, so please do not hesitate to get in touch if you have any questions or problems We will roll the canvas and send it out to you in a tube, ready for you to frame yourself. We can provide for you an unmounted canvas - any image. The frames are pine wood and are either 18mm or 35mm in depth, depending on size of image and your preference. ![]() We provide any of our images in any size, just enquire. The canvas that we use is 100% cotton, to give a far superior finish that will last for years. We use the latest high tech printers, using only original inks, to ensure the colours are vibrant and strong. All canvases are handstretched, stapled and tape finished. They are handmade and will be securely packaged. We provide high quality photo designĪnd printing, with high quality customer service.Īll of our canvas pictures are ready to hang on your wall. LJ's Wall Art is a small family run company based in Cheshire, with years of experience in photography, design and printing.
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